🎯 VALUE ELICITATION - ALIGN YOUR LIFE WITH WHAT TRULY MATTERS

“Aligning your life with your values sounds great until your values clash. Suddenly, ’eat all the pizza’ is competing with ‘run a marathon’.” - Anonymous

📄 ABSTRACT OF VALUE ELICITATION - ALIGN YOUR LIFE WITH WHAT TRULY MATTERS

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Within the framework of Neuro-Linguistic Programming, value elicitation stands as a cornerstone for profound personal transformation. This abstract elucidates the process of consciously accessing and clarifying an individual’s core values – the deeply held principles that drive motivation, shape decisions, and ultimately define a fulfilling life experience. As NLP practitioners understand, these values, often operating unconsciously, are the invisible architects of our reality. Through precise questioning techniques and experiential processes, we can bring these intrinsic motivators into conscious awareness. This abstract will outline how NLP-guided value elicitation empowers individuals to identify their unique value hierarchy, fostering congruence between their inner compass and external actions. The outcome is not merely self-understanding, but a dynamic realignment of life choices, behaviors, and goals, leading to enhanced purpose, authentic expression, and a life lived in profound alignment with what truly matters at the deepest level. Mastering value elicitation is mastering the art of conscious self-creation.

✅ THE BENEFITS OF VALUE ELICITATION - ALIGN YOUR LIFE WITH WHAT TRULY MATTERS

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“My therapist suggested value elicitation. Turns out my core value is ‘avoiding value elicitation’.” - Anonymous

I’ve witnessed firsthand the profound shifts that occur when individuals embark on the journey of value elicitation. It’s more than just a self-help exercise; it’s a fundamental act of self-discovery that unlocks a cascade of positive changes, rippling through every facet of your existence. To truly align your life with what truly matters, you must first know what “truly matters” is. This is where the power of value elicitation comes into play.

Clarity in a Confused World: In our fast-paced, externally driven world, it’s easy to get lost in the noise. We are bombarded with shoulds, ought-tos, and societal expectations that often drown out our inner voice. Value elicitation cuts through this cacophony. It provides a crystal-clear lens through which to view your life, illuminating your intrinsic motivators and core principles. Suddenly, the fog of confusion lifts, and you gain a profound understanding of what truly drives you, beyond fleeting trends or superficial desires.

Purposeful Direction and Motivation: Values are the compass points of your inner navigation system. Once elicited, they become powerful anchors, guiding your decisions and actions. No longer are you adrift, reacting to external pressures. Instead, you are propelled by intrinsic motivation, driven by a deep sense of purpose that resonates with your authentic self. This clarity translates into focused energy, unwavering commitment, and a sense of direction that permeates all you do.

Empowered Decision-Making: Life is a series of choices, big and small. Without a clear understanding of your values, decision-making can feel like a gamble, often leading to choices that leave you feeling unfulfilled or misaligned. Value elicitation provides a robust framework for empowered decision-making. When faced with a crossroads, you can consciously evaluate your options against your core values. Does this opportunity honor what truly matters to you? Does it resonate with your deepest principles? The answers become strikingly clear, leading to choices that are authentic, congruent, and ultimately more satisfying.

Enhanced Authenticity and Congruence: Living a life out of alignment with your values is a recipe for inner conflict and dissatisfaction. It’s like trying to fit a square peg into a round hole – friction and frustration are inevitable. Value elicitation fosters authenticity and congruence. By consciously aligning your actions with your values, you create a life that is a true reflection of your inner self. This congruence breeds a sense of inner peace, self-respect, and genuine fulfillment that external achievements alone can never provide.

Stronger Relationships and Deeper Connections: Values are not just personal guides; they also shape our interactions with others. Understanding your values allows you to communicate them more effectively, attracting relationships that are built on mutual respect and shared principles. Furthermore, recognizing the values of others fosters empathy and understanding, leading to deeper, more meaningful connections in both personal and professional spheres.

Resilience and Inner Strength: Life inevitably throws curveballs. Challenges and setbacks are unavoidable. However, when your life is anchored in your core values, you develop an inner resilience that allows you to weather storms with greater strength and grace. Your values become a source of unwavering fortitude, reminding you of what truly matters even amidst adversity, and providing the internal compass to navigate through difficult times.

In essence, value elicitation is an investment in your most valuable asset: yourself. It’s a journey of self-discovery that empowers you to live a life of purpose, authenticity, and profound fulfillment. By taking the time to uncover what truly matters, you unlock the potential to create a life that is not just successful by external measures, but deeply meaningful and aligned with your innermost being. This is the transformative power of value elicitation – it’s about living a life that truly matters to you.

🏛️ ORIGINS OF VALUE ELICITATION - ALIGN YOUR LIFE WITH WHAT TRULY MATTERS

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1. Definition of Value Elicitation: Value elicitation is the process of uncovering and understanding the principles and beliefs that guide individual and collective actions and decisions. It involves recognizing what truly matters to individuals and societies, enabling them to align their lives with their core values.

2. Philosophical and Cultural Traditions:

• Ancient Greek Philosophy: The Greeks emphasized virtues such as courage, wisdom, justice, and temperance, which served as the foundation for ethical living.
• Confucianism: Confucius and his disciples focused on harmony, respect, and duty, viewing these as essential for social order and personal development.
• Chinese Philosophy: Taoism and Buddhism also contributed to the understanding of values, with Taoism emphasizing naturalness and simplicity, while Buddhism focused on compassion and interconnectedness.

3. Techniques and Methods:

• Storytelling: Many cultures use storytelling as a means to pass down values and moral lessons, embedding them in the community’s collective memory.
• Religious Texts: Texts like the Bible, Quran, and Bhagavad Gita provide frameworks for understanding divine values and ethical living.
• Philosophical Writings: Works by philosophers such as Aristotle, Kant, and Nietzsche offer systematic approaches to understanding and eliciting values.

4. Psychological and Modern Approaches:

• Carl Jung’s Archetypes: Jung’s concept of archetypes suggests universal themes that influence individual and collective values, linking value elicitation to the collective unconscious.
• Life Coaching and Personal Development: Modern methodologies incorporate techniques like journaling, vision boards, and psychological assessments to help individuals identify and align with their values.

5. Cultural Differences:

• Indigenous Cultures: Emphasize community, nature, and spiritual connection, with value elicitation deeply tied to environmental and social structures.
• Western Cultures: Focus more on individualism, personal achievement, and self-expression, reflecting a shift towards personal autonomy in value identification.

6. Historical Events and Movements:

• Enlightenment: Emphasized reason and individual rights, influencing modern value systems towards rationality and personal freedoms.
• Humanism: Focused on human well-being and dignity, impacting value elicitation by prioritizing human-centric principles.

7. Evolution of Methods:

• Ancient Techniques: Meditation, reflection, and rituals were used to introspect and align with values.
• Modern Tools: Journaling, vision boards, NLP, and psychological assessments have emerged as effective methods in contemporary contexts.

📜 PRINCIPLES OF VALUE ELICITATION - ALIGN YOUR LIFE WITH WHAT TRULY MATTERS

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The Guiding Principles of Effective Value Elicitation:

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• Intention of Authenticity: The cornerstone of value elicitation is a genuine commitment to uncovering your true values, not the values you think you should have, or those imposed by external pressures. This requires radical honesty with yourself and a willingness to confront potentially uncomfortable truths. The process is about peeling back layers of societal conditioning and self-deception to reach the core of your intrinsic motivators.

• Embrace Open Inquiry: Value elicitation is not a rigid checklist exercise. It’s an open, exploratory process. Approach it with curiosity and a willingness to be surprised. Ask open-ended questions, delve into your past experiences, and allow your intuition to guide you. Resist the urge to immediately categorize or label – instead, let the values emerge organically through reflection.

• Contextual Specificity: Values don’t exist in a vacuum. They manifest differently across various life domains – career, relationships, health, personal growth, etc. Effective elicitation requires defining the context you’re exploring. Are you seeking values for your career path? Your personal relationships? Your life as a whole? Specificity ensures that the values you uncover are relevant and actionable within the chosen context.

• Experiential Grounding: Abstract values are less impactful than values grounded in lived experience. Effective elicitation techniques often involve exploring past moments of fulfillment, joy, pride, or even dissatisfaction and pain. These experiences act as signposts, pointing toward the values that were either honored or violated in those situations. Recall specific events and emotions to make your values tangible and real.

• Iterative Refinement: Value elicitation is rarely a one-and-done process. Your understanding of your values will likely evolve over time as you grow and experience life. Embrace an iterative approach. Revisit your values periodically, question their continued relevance, and refine your understanding as you gain new insights and perspectives. Think of it as a living document, not a fixed inscription.

• Focus on “Towards” and “Away From”: Values often manifest in two directions: what you are drawn towards (e.g., growth, connection, creativity) and what you are moving away from (e.g., stagnation, isolation, conformity). Exploring both “towards-values” and “away-from-values” provides a more comprehensive and nuanced picture of your motivational landscape.

Navigating the Pitfalls of Value Elicitation:

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While the principles above guide us towards effective value elicitation, there are common pitfalls to be aware of:

• Confusing Values with Goals or Means: A common mistake is to mistake goals or means to an end for core values. For example, “making a lot of money” is often a goal, while the underlying value might be “security,” “freedom,” or “achievement.” Dig deeper beyond the surface level to uncover the core value driving the goal.

• Adopting “Should” Values: Societal expectations, family pressures, and cultural norms can easily lead us to adopt “should” values – values we believe we should hold, rather than those we genuinely feel. Be vigilant in distinguishing between externally imposed values and your authentic, internally driven ones. Question the origin of each value and ask yourself: “Is this truly mine?”

• Intellectualizing vs. Feeling: Value elicitation is not purely an intellectual exercise. It requires tapping into your emotions and intuition. It’s easy to create a list of values that sound good on paper but lack genuine emotional resonance. Pay attention to how each potential value feels within you. Do you feel a sense of excitement, energy, or deep resonance when you consider it?

• Vagueness and Abstraction: Values expressed in overly vague or abstract terms are difficult to apply in practical life. For example, “happiness” is abstract. More specific values might be “joy,” “contentment,” “peace,” or “excitement.” Strive for clarity and specificity in your value statements to make them actionable and meaningful.

• Fear of Conflict and Prioritization: Eliciting your values can sometimes reveal internal conflicts – values that seem to clash with each other (e.g., “security” vs. “adventure”). Avoid the pitfall of sidestepping these conflicts. Instead, acknowledge and explore them. Prioritization is a natural part of value elicitation. Recognize that some values may be more dominant or relevant in certain contexts than others.

• Overthinking and Analysis Paralysis: While reflection is crucial, overthinking can hinder the process. Don’t get bogged down in endless analysis. Trust your initial instincts and allow your values to emerge naturally. Sometimes, the simplest answers are the most profound.

🗨️ GUIDING CLIENTS IN VALUE ELICITATION - ALIGN YOUR LIFE WITH WHAT TRULY MATTERS

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• Sitting by side so you can perceive nuances in facial expression, gestures, and coloration of the skin and not stay in the way of a client who is accessing their images and creating metaphors in front of them.
• Modulate your voice and speak slowly and melodically.
• Be interested in client exploration.
• Repeat the client’s words using his voice delivery. For instance, when the client spoke about an exciting event, his face lightened up, his words speeded up and his tone of voice was higher. As a professional, you are, to match his expression or attend acting class to learn essentials.
• Connect the question and experience with coordinating conjunction and/as/when.

💧 VALUE ELICITATION - ALIGN YOUR LIFE WITH WHAT TRULY MATTERS SCRIPT BASED ON THE EXPLORATION OF VLADIMIR KLIMSA

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“I tried to elicit my values. It mostly involved staring blankly at a wall and wondering if ‘procrastination’ is a valid core principle.” - Anonymous

Vlad: “Hello, What I can facilitate for you today?”

Client: “I would like to find out what are my values. Once I seemed to find them I realized they had changed in different contexts. I think I did find some things that felt like values. Like, in my work, I realized I really value… competence, and making a difference. And with my family, it’s definitely a connection and… and support.

Vlad: These sound like important values to you. What’s it’s your experience?

Client: It’s just… they seem to change depending on the situation. Like, at work, competence is huge. But at home, if I’m too focused on being competent, it just feels… cold. I need to be more… nurturing, I guess? So, are competence and nurturing both my values? Or are they different values for different parts of my life? It’s all a bit… fluid.

Vlad: That’s a very insightful observation. It’s actually quite common for people to experience that values can seem to shift or prioritize differently depending on the context. It doesn’t mean your initial insights were wrong, but it does highlight a crucial aspect of values: they can be contextual, and they can also exist in a hierarchy.

Client: Hierarchy?

Vlad: Yes. Think of it like this: you might have broader, overarching values - we can call them “core values” - that are important to you across all areas of your life. And then you might have more specific, “contextual values” that become more prominent or relevant in particular situations or roles.

Client: Okay… core and contextual. That’s… helpful. So, competence and nurturing might both be values, but maybe one is more… contextual?

Vlad: Potentially. Competence might be a very relevant and important value in your professional context. Nurturing might be more prominent in your family context. But underneath, there might be even deeper, core values that inform both. To explore this further, I’d like to guide you through another value elicitation exercise today, using some powerful questions from Paul McKenna. Are you open to that?

Client: Yes, please. I’m really trying to understand this better.

Vlad: Excellent. This exercise will involve imagining yourself before the end of your life, looking back. It’s a way to tap into what truly matters in the grand scheme of things, beyond the immediate pressures of daily life, and perhaps get closer to those core values. Are you ready to begin?

Client: Ready.

Vlad: Wonderful. So, find a comfortable posture. Close your eyes gently if that feels right. And just take a few deep breaths, allowing yourself to settle into this moment… Imagine yourself many years from now, looking back on your life with wisdom and perspective… You are at peace, reflecting on all that has been…

(Pause for a moment of silence)

Vlad: Now, from this vantage point, I want you to ask yourself the first question: What do I regret that I haven’t done in my life? Allow whatever comes to mind to surface. Don’t judge it, just observe.

(Pause for a minute or so of silence. Client may shift slightly.)

Client: (Softly) …I regret… not taking more risks. Especially… creative risks. I always wanted to write, to paint… but I played it safe, focused on a more… practical career.

Vlad: Creative risks… writing, painting… What emotions come up as you consider this regret?

Client: A little… sadness. And a sense of… unfulfillment. Like a part of me has been… dormant.

Vlad: And what value might be connected to this regret? What’s important about taking those creative risks for you?

Client: …Expression. Definitely self-expression. And… authenticity. Being true to myself, I guess. Not just doing what’s expected.

Vlad: Expression and authenticity… hold onto those. Now, let’s move to the second question. Still from that end-of-life perspective:

What do I wish that I had done more of in my life?

(Pause again for reflection.)

Client: (After a moment) …I wish I had nurtured my friendships more. I have some really wonderful friends, but life got busy, and I… I didn’t always prioritize those connections.

Vlad: Nurturing friendships… What’s important about that for you?

Client: …Belonging. Feeling connected to people who truly see me. And… support. Knowing you have people who are there for you, and you for them. It’s about… community, I think.

Vlad: Belonging, support, community… These are powerful values too. Now, let’s look at the values that have emerged from both questions: authenticity, expression, belonging, support, community… and from our earlier conversation, competence and nurturing. Do you notice any themes, any overarching values that might connect them?

Client: (Thinking aloud) …Authenticity and expression… that feels like it’s about being true to myself, my inner voice. And belonging, support, community… that’s about connection with others, feeling part of something bigger. Competence and nurturing… maybe those are ways I express those deeper things - authenticity at work through competence, and connection at home through nurturing?

Vlad: That’s a very insightful way to look at it. Authenticity and connection may be acting as more core, foundational values for you. And values like competence and nurturing become more contextual expressions of those core values, adapted to different areas of your life.

Client: So, it’s okay that my values seem different in different situations?

Vlad: Absolutely. It’s not only okay, it’s often a sign of healthy adaptability. Contextual values are still your values, just applied and prioritized in specific settings. Think of it like having a core set of musical notes - your core values - and then you create different melodies - your contextual values - depending on the situation, the relationship, and the goal. The notes are still the same, but the tune changes.

Client: That’s a good analogy. So, how do I use this? Knowing I have core values and… contextual ones?

Vlad: Understanding this distinction can be incredibly helpful. Your core values – like authenticity and connection, as we’ve discussed - become your guiding principles in life. They are your non-negotiables, the things you want to honor in all areas. Your contextual values - like competence and nurturing - become tools, ways to express and live out those core values within specific contexts.

For example, if the connection is a core value, then nurturing becomes a contextual way to express that within your family, while perhaps collaboration and teamwork become contextual expressions of connection in your work environment. Competence, in that context, might be linked to your core value of authenticity - being genuinely good at what you do, feeling aligned with your skills and purpose.

Client: So, it’s not about choosing one set of values for everything, but understanding how they all fit together?

Vlad: Precisely. It’s about understanding your value system as a whole and recognizing both the foundational core and the contextual expressions. This awareness gives you greater flexibility and intentionality in your choices. You can ask yourself: “In this situation, which of my values are most relevant? How can I honor my core values and adapt to the specific context?”

Client: That feels… less rigid. More… realistic. Like I can actually work with this.

Vlad: I’d like you to reflect on this idea of core versus contextual values. Think about the values we’ve identified today, and see if you can discern which feel more like core principles and which seem to be more context-specific expressions. And consider how you might consciously honor both in different areas of your life.

Client: Thank you. This is… much clearer now. Less confusing, definitely.

Client: “Something has changed. I can feel the connection.”

Vlad: “To put a cherry on top. Go inside and search for the location of the part that is responsible for living by your values. Observe its location, size, contour, weight, temperature, solidness, surface, inner quality, direction of movement, and spin rotation. Notice as well as origin of the voice, the person who is speaking, volume, pitch, emotional state, the direction of the voice, and spin rotation’.”

Core Transformation

Client: “The location had changed. I feel change not only now but I sense it will carry as well in the future.”

Vlad: “That’s good to hear, Good luck. And here is the audio recording of the session.”

🗣️ ANECDOTE ABOUT VALUE ELICITATION - ALIGN YOUR LIFE WITH WHAT TRULY MATTERS

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“Finding My Why: A Journey of Self-Discovery”

When I was in my late twenties, I felt like I was living someone else’s life. I had a secure job, a nice apartment, and all the trappings of success, but I wasn’t happy. I felt a deep sense of emptiness as if I was going through the motions without purpose. Something was missing, and I couldn’t pinpoint what it was.

One evening, exhausted and frustrated, I shared my feelings with a close friend. She suggested I see a life coach, someone who could help me figure out what truly mattered to me. Reluctantly, I agreed. The coach introduced me to the concept of “value elicitation”—a process of identifying the core principles and beliefs that guide our lives.

The first session was eye-opening. My coach asked me a series of questions that forced me to look inward: “What makes you feel alive?” “What would you do if money wasn’t an issue?” “What legacy do you want to leave?” I stumbled through the answers, but as I spoke, I began to notice patterns. Certain words kept coming up: creativity, helping others, authenticity, and growth.

Over the next few weeks, I engaged in various exercises—journaling, vision boarding, and even some mindfulness practices—to delve deeper into these themes. I realized that I had been suppressing my true self, chasing a career path that didn’t align with what I truly cared about. I wanted to use my skills to make a difference, to inspire and uplift others, not just climb the corporate ladder for the sake of it.

One pivotal moment came during a guided visualization exercise. My coach asked me to imagine my ideal life, where I was living fully aligned with my values. In that moment, I saw myself working as a mentor, helping young people find their passions and purpose. It felt so right. I left the session feeling a surge of hope and determination.

Armed with this newfound clarity, I began to make changes. I started small—volunteering at a local youth center, creating content that inspired others, and slowly nurturing a side hustle that combined creativity with purpose. Over time, I transitioned out of my old job and into a career that felt authentically mine. It wasn’t easy, and there were moments of doubt and insecurity, but every step forward reminded me that I was finally living in alignment with what Truly Mattered.

Reflecting on this journey, I realize that value elicitation wasn’t just about identifying my core values; it was about daring to live according to them. It taught me that happiness isn’t about having it all—it’s about aligning with what truly matters to you, even when it means stepping out of your comfort zone.

Today, I feel more fulfilled than I ever imagined possible. I’ve learned that life is too short to live anyone else’s story. When you align your life with what truly matters, you not only change your own life—you inspire others to do the same.

👣 THE BASIC PROCESS OF VALUE ELICITATION - ALIGN YOUR LIFE WITH WHAT TRULY MATTERS

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A Research-Based Approach

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• Literature and Video Review: Conduct a comprehensive review of existing research on VALUE ELICITATION - ALIGN YOUR LIFE WITH WHAT TRULY MATTERS, including studies on meditation, trance, and ecstatic experiences.
• Surveys and Interviews: Conduct surveys and interviews with individuals who practice meditation, yoga, and other similar-based practices to gather information on their experiences and techniques.
• Physiological Measurements: Measure physiological responses such as heart rate, blood pressure, and brainwave activity in individuals who practice VALUE ELICITATION - ALIGN YOUR LIFE WITH WHAT TRULY MATTERS techniques.

The Basic Process of Value Elicitation: Align Your Life With What Truly Matters

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Value elicitation is a journey of self-discovery. This exploration can be facilitated through various methods. Two powerful approaches are the Core Transformation process developed by Connirae and Tamara Andreas, and the insightful questions posed by Paul McKenna.

Core Transformation Process

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The Core Transformation process, developed by Connirae and Tamara Andreas, offers a gentle yet profound method for personal change. Rooted in Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), psychology, and spirituality, it’s designed to transform limitations into experiences of inner peace, love, and wholeness. The Core Transformation process is a ten-step method that gently melts away limitations.

Here’s an overview of the Core Transformation process used for Value Elicitation

1. Identify a Context: Begin by pinpointing a behavior, feeling, or pattern. For example: Relationship
2. Access the Initial Intention: Delve into the positive intention behind your current behavior, feeling, or pattern in your relationship. Every behavior, even those that seem negative, serves a purpose.
3. Go to the First Core State: Ask yourself, “If I fully achieved that intention, what would that give me?” This guides you toward the initial core state.
4. Access the Intention of the Core State: Question what achieving that core state will provide you.
5. Go to the Next Core State: Repeat this process, each time moving towards deeper states of being.
6. Continue Until Core State is Reached: The process is repeated until core states such as “being,” “inner peace,” “love,” or “wholeness” are achieved.

Through each step, individuals move beyond internal conflicts and inner struggles, experiencing alignment with their deepest selves. Tamara Andreas guides individuals through the Core Transformation process to their individual core state. This method facilitates the alignment of our values.

Paul McKenna’s Questions for Value Elicitation

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Paul McKenna, a renowned hypnotherapist and personal development expert, encourages individuals to explore their true potential by envisioning their ideal life.

As you imagine being near the end of your life:

• What do you regret that you haven’t done? Ponder the unfulfilled dreams and aspirations that have lingered in the background.
• What do you wish that you had done more of? Reflect on the activities, relationships, or experiences that brought you joy and fulfillment.

💪 MEDITATION VALUE ELICITATION - ALIGN YOUR LIFE WITH WHAT TRULY MATTERS

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(Find a quiet space where you can sit or lie down comfortably. Gently close your eyes if that feels comfortable for you.)

(Soft, calming music can play in the background if desired.)

Introduction (Calming and Grounding):

“Welcome. Allow yourself to settle into this moment. Feel the support beneath you, whether it’s the chair, the cushion, or the floor. Let your body relax, releasing any tension you may be holding… in your shoulders… your jaw… your hands… Just breathe gently and naturally.

With each inhale, invite calm and peace into your being. With each exhale, release any stress, worry, or busyness of the day… Let your mind gently quieten, like the surface of a still lake… Just be present… here… now…”

(Pause for 30 seconds – 1 minute of silence)

Setting the Scene (End of Life Perspective):

“Now, gently allow your imagination to take you on a journey… Imagine yourself many years from now… You are before the end of your life, looking back… You are surrounded by a sense of peace, a gentle acceptance of all that has been… You are in a place of quiet reflection, reviewing the tapestry of your life…

From this vantage point, you have a unique perspective. The urgency of daily life has faded, and what remains is the essence of your journey… the things that truly mattered… the experiences that shaped you… the connections you cherished…”

(Pause for 1 minute of silence)

Question 1: Regrets (Haven’t Done):

“From this peaceful place, I invite you to gently consider a question… a question asked with kindness and self-compassion… What do I regret that I haven’t done in my life?…

Allow the question to resonate within you… Don’t force an answer, simply allow thoughts, images, or feelings to gently surface… Perhaps a dream unfulfilled… a risk not taken… a path not explored… It might be a small thing, or something significant… Whatever comes to mind, simply acknowledge it without judgment…

(Pause for 1 minute - 1 minute 30 seconds of silence)

Notice what emotions arise as you consider this… Is there a sense of sadness… longing… disappointment…? These emotions are messengers… They are pointing you toward something important… They are whispering about values that may have been unacknowledged or unmet…

What value might be connected to this regret?… Perhaps it’s the value of adventure… if you regret not traveling… Perhaps it’s creativity… if you regret not pursuing an artistic passion… Perhaps it’s courage… if you regret not speaking your truth… Identify the underlying value… What truly mattered that was left undone?”

(Pause for 1 minute - 1 minute 30 seconds of silence)

Transition & Deepening:

“Now, gently release that regret… Let it go like a leaf floating down a stream… It has served its purpose, guiding you towards deeper understanding… Return to your breath… Inhale calm… Exhale release…”

(Pause for 30 seconds of silence)

Question 2: Wishes (Done More Of):

“Now, let’s turn to another gentle question from this wise, end-of-life perspective… What do I wish that I had done more of in my life?…

Again, allow the question to settle within you… What comes to mind?… Perhaps it’s spending more time with loved ones… cultivating a skill… contributing to a cause you believe in… nurturing your health… Whatever surfaces, observe it with kindness and curiosity…

(Pause for 1 minute - 1 minute 30 seconds of silence)

Notice the feelings associated with this wish… Is there a sense of warmth… longing… a gentle ache of what could have been deepened…? These feelings too, are messengers… They are highlighting values that you cherish… values that bring you a sense of richness and fulfillment…

What value might be connected to this wish?… Perhaps it’s connection… if you wish you’d spent more time with loved ones… Perhaps it’s learning… if you wish you’d pursued a certain skill… Perhaps it’s contribution… if you wish you’d done more for others… Identify the underlying value… What truly mattered that you wished you had nurtured more fully?”

(Pause for 1 minute - 1 minute 30 seconds of silence)

Value Identification & Reflection:

“Now, gently bring to mind both your regrets and your wishes… Look for the common threads… the recurring themes… What values are woven through both your regrets and your wishes?… These are likely to be core values, deeply important to you…

Perhaps you see a value like love… growth… authenticity… freedom… service… joy… Whatever words resonate, allow them to surface… These are your guiding stars… your inner compass points… These are the values that, when honored, bring your life into alignment with what truly matters to you.”

(Pause for 1 minute – 1 minute 30 seconds of silence)

Integration & Future Focus:

“Take a moment to appreciate these values… Feel their resonance within you… These values are not just abstract concepts; they are living energies within you, waiting to be expressed…

Now, gently shift your perspective from the end of life back to the present moment… Bring these insights with you… How can you begin to honor these values today?… In small ways… in significant ways… How can you align your daily actions, your choices, and your relationships with these deeply held principles?…

Imagine living your life more consciously guided by these values… How does that feel?… What possibilities open up for you?… Allow yourself to envision a future where your life is increasingly aligned with what truly matters, guided by the wisdom you have uncovered today…”

(Pause for 1 minute of silence)

Gentle Return & Closing:

“Gently begin to bring your awareness back to the room… Wiggle your fingers and toes… Take a deeper breath… When you are ready, gently open your eyes, carrying with you the insights and clarity you have gained…

Know that these values are always within you, waiting to guide you. You can return to this reflection anytime you need to reconnect with what truly matters… Carry this sense of purpose and alignment with you as you move through your day… And may your life be increasingly filled with meaning, guided by your own deepest values.”

(Gently fade out the music, if used.)

▶️ VIDEO OF VALUE ELICITATION - ALIGN YOUR LIFE WITH WHAT TRULY MATTERS

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▶️ Youtube - Paul McKenna on How to Power Manifest Money

❓ FAQ OF VALUE ELICITATION - ALIGN YOUR LIFE WITH WHAT TRULY MATTERS

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Frequently Asked Questions about Value Elicitation: Aligning Your Life with What Truly Matters

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Value elicitation - understanding what truly matters to you – can seem like a complex or even daunting process. Here are some frequently asked questions to clarify the concept and guide you on your journey to a more value-aligned life:

Understanding Value Elicitation:

Q1: What exactly is Value Elicitation?

A: Value elicitation is the process of consciously identifying and clarifying your core values - the fundamental principles that guide your decisions, motivate your actions, and define what you find truly meaningful in life. It’s about uncovering what’s deeply important to you, beyond surface-level desires or external pressures.

Q2: Why is Value Elicitation important?

A: Understanding your values is crucial for living a purposeful and fulfilling life. It brings clarity, direction, and authenticity. When you align your life with your values, you experience:

• Increased Purpose: You gain a clear sense of direction and motivation.
• Empowered Decisions: Choices become easier and more congruent with your inner compass.
• Greater Fulfillment: You experience deeper satisfaction and meaning in your daily life.
• Stronger Relationships: You build connections based on shared principles and mutual respect.
• Enhanced Resilience: You develop inner strength to navigate challenges aligned with your core beliefs.

Q3: Are values the same as goals?

A: No, values and goals are related but distinct. Values are guiding principles - enduring beliefs about what is important in life (e.g., honesty, creativity, connection). Goals are specific, achievable targets you set to realize your values in practice (e.g., “write a novel this year,” “spend more quality time with family”). Values provide the why behind your goals.

Q4: Are values fixed, or can they change?

A: While some core values may remain consistent throughout your life, values can evolve and shift over time due to life experiences, personal growth, and changing priorities. Periodic value elicitation is beneficial to ensure your values remain aligned with your current self and aspirations.

The Process of Value Elicitation:

Q5: How do I actually elicit my values? What techniques can I use?

A: There are various techniques, including:

• Reflection Questions: Asking yourself targeted questions about what’s important to you in different life areas, past experiences, and future aspirations. (e.g., “What makes you feel truly fulfilled?”).
• Values Checklists: Reviewing lists of common values and selecting those that resonate most strongly.
• Guided Meditations: Using meditation scripts to access deeper levels of awareness and uncover values through introspection.
• NLP Techniques: Utilizing Neuro-Linguistic Programming questions and processes designed to elicit values.
• End-of-Life Perspective: Reflecting on what you might regret not doing or wish you had done more of at the end of your life.

Q6: Is value elicitation a quick process?

A: Value elicitation is a journey of self-discovery, not a quick fix. It requires dedicated time for reflection and introspection. The depth and duration of the process depend on the individual and the techniques used. Be patient and allow yourself the time needed for genuine exploration.

Q7: Can someone else elicit my values for me?

A: While a coach, therapist, or trusted friend can guide you through the process with questions and techniques, ultimately, you are the one who elicits your own values. Values are deeply personal and reside within you. External guidance can facilitate the process, but the discovery is your own.

Q8: What if I find conflicting values?

A: It’s common to discover values that seem to conflict (e.g., “autonomy” vs. “belonging”). Value elicitation helps you become aware of these tensions. The goal isn’t to eliminate conflict but to understand your value hierarchy and make conscious choices that balance competing values in different situations. Prioritization and context are key.

Living in Alignment with Your Values:

Q9: Once I know my values, how do I align my life with them?

A: Aligning your life is an ongoing process, not a destination. It involves:

• Conscious Decision-Making: Evaluate choices against your values. Does this opportunity or action resonate with what truly matters to you?
• Setting Value-Driven Goals: Create goals that are expressions of your core values.
• Prioritizing Activities: Allocate time and energy to activities that honor your values.
• Communicating Your Values: Express your values in your relationships and professional life to foster understanding and connection.
• Regular Reflection: Periodically review your values and assess how well your life is aligned with them, making adjustments as needed.

Q10: What if my current life feels completely misaligned with my values?

A: It’s never too late to start aligning your life. Value elicitation is the first step. Recognize that change takes time and effort. Begin by making small, incremental changes that move you closer to value alignment. Focus on progress, not perfection, and celebrate each step forward.

Q11: Is it selfish to focus on my own values?

A: No, understanding and honoring your values is not selfish; it’s self-aware and responsible. Living in alignment with your values often enhances your ability to contribute to others and the world around you. When you are fulfilled and purposeful, you are better equipped to make a positive impact.

Q12: Where can I learn more about value elicitation and living a value-driven life?

A: Explore resources on:

• Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP): Books and practitioners specializing in NLP often incorporate value elicitation techniques.
• Personal Development and Coaching: Many self-help books and coaching programs focus on value clarification.
• Philosophical and Ethical Texts: Ancient and contemporary philosophical works on ethics and virtue can provide a deeper understanding of values.
• Online Resources: Search for articles, guided meditations, and exercises on “value elicitation,” “core values,” and “living with purpose.”

😆 JOKES ABOUT VALUE ELICITATION - ALIGN YOUR LIFE WITH WHAT TRULY MATTERS

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• Value elicitation is like asking your inner child their life goals, and they reply, “To eat candy for every meal!” Turns out, aligning with that value requires some adult negotiation.

• I tried value elicitation. My number one value? “Efficiently avoiding things I don’t want to do.” Talk about self-awareness!

• I spent a whole weekend on value elicitation. Turns out, my core values are suspiciously similar to a cat’s: sunbeams, naps, and being worshipped.

• Value elicitation is the grown-up version of “What do you want to be when you grow up?” Now the answer is “someone who remembers to water their plants.”

• Value elicitation: The only time “introspection” feels less like self-discovery and more like a tax audit of your soul.

• I thought value elicitation would be profound. Turns out, my deepest value is “not having to fold laundry.” Existential crisis averted.

• Value elicitation is like asking a toddler about their values. Expect passionate declarations about “juice boxes” and “shiny things.”

• I’m convinced “value elicitation” is just a fancy term for “finally figuring out why you keep buying those impulse items at the checkout.”

• After value elicitation, I realized my life was aligned with what truly matters: making it to Friday. Mission accomplished.

• They say “align your life with what truly matters.” I tried, but “truly matters” seems to shift depending on the Wi-Fi signal strength.

• Value elicitation is like searching for your car keys when you’re already late. You know they’re essential… but where did you put them in your value system?!

🦋 METAPHORS ABOUT VALUE ELICITATION - ALIGN YOUR LIFE WITH WHAT TRULY MATTERS

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• Value elicitation is like unearthing buried treasure within yourself, discovering the gold of your core principles that have always been there, waiting to be brought to light.

• It’s like tuning a musical instrument to its perfect pitch, bringing your life into harmonious resonance with the notes that truly matter to your soul.

• Value elicitation is like reading a hidden map etched onto your heart, finally deciphering the symbols that point you toward your authentic destination.

• It’s like polishing a clouded mirror until you can see your true reflection clearly, revealing the values that define your genuine self.

• Value elicitation is like finding the North Star in your inner sky, providing a constant point of reference to navigate the complexities of life.

• It’s like sorting through a cluttered attic of your mind, discarding the dusty shoulds and ought-tos to uncover the cherished heirlooms of your true values.

• Value elicitation is like drilling down to the bedrock of your being, past layers of superficial desires, to reach the solid foundation of your core principles.

• It’s like finding the missing puzzle pieces of your life, finally completing the picture, and seeing the coherent image of your value-driven existence.

• Value elicitation is like decoding your personal life language, understanding the symbols and signals that reveal your deepest priorities.

• It’s like building a house on a solid foundation of values, ensuring that your life structure is strong, resilient, and truly your own.

• Value elicitation is like finding the melody in the chaos of life, harmonizing your actions with the underlying tune of your core principles.

🧑‍🦲 VLADIMIR KLIMSA EXPERIENCE WITH VALUE ELICITATION - ALIGN YOUR LIFE WITH WHAT TRULY MATTERS

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“After value elicitation, I realized my life was already aligned with what truly matters: getting to the weekend. Nailed it.” - Anonymous

I have read books, watched videos, attended seminars, and practiced on myself and others. My interest in VALUE ELICITATION - ALIGN YOUR LIFE WITH WHAT TRULY MATTERS techniques arose from searching for reliable techniques that I could use to improve my life and life of others. I learned NLP techniques in NLP seminars, gathering, from friends, books, articles, and video and audio courses. I have practiced with myself and others and I can say my overall experience is good. I tried out through the years several techniques and realized that asking in consciousness state doesn’t bring me a revelation. After finding out in the 1998 book Core Transformation by Connirae & Tamara Andreas I came closer and the final point was Paul McKenna and Richard Bandler’s hypnosis training in London. The kinesthetic sensation is the one of most valuable techniques I come across. I do recommend that you search for a practitioner who has knowledge, skills, experience, and elegance for your first session.

🕳️ THE LIMITATIONS OR UNCERTAINTIES INHERENT IN THE RESEARCH OF VALUE ELICITATION - ALIGN YOUR LIFE WITH WHAT TRULY MATTERS

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While VALUE ELICITATION - ALIGN YOUR LIFE WITH WHAT TRULY MATTERS has been used for centuries, there are limitations and uncertainties inherent in the research of these practices. Here, we’ll explore some of the limitations and uncertainties that researchers and practitioners should be aware of:

Limitations of Ancient Texts

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• Interpretation: Ancient texts can be open to interpretation, making it difficult to understand the original intent of the authors.
• Translation: Ancient texts may have been translated multiple times, leading to potential errors or misunderstandings.
• Cultural Context: Ancient texts may have been written in a specific cultural context, which can make it difficult to understand the practices and techniques described.

Limitations of Modern Research

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• Small Sample Sizes: Many studies on VALUE ELICITATION - ALIGN YOUR LIFE WITH WHAT TRULY MATTERS have small sample sizes, making it difficult to generalize the findings to larger populations.
• Lack of Control Groups: Some studies may not have control groups, making it difficult to determine whether the results are due to the breathing technique or other factors.
• Measurement Tools: Measurement tools, such as questionnaires and physiological measures, may not be sensitive enough to capture the full range of effects of ancient breathing techniques.

Uncertainties of Altered States

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• Subjective Experience: Altered states are subjective experiences, making it difficult to measure and quantify them.
• Individual Variability: Individuals may respond differently to ancient breathing techniques, making it difficult to predict the effects of these practices.
• Contextual Factors: Contextual factors, such as the environment and the practitioner’s intention, can influence the effects of ancient techniques.

Limitations of VALUE ELICITATION - ALIGN YOUR LIFE WITH WHAT TRULY MATTERS Techniques

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• Individual Differences: Individuals may have different sensory experiences, making it difficult to standardize techniques.
• Health Status: VALUE ELICITATION - ALIGN YOUR LIFE WITH WHAT TRULY MATTERS techniques may not be suitable for individuals with certain health conditions, such as mental illness.
• Practice Quality: The quality of the practice, such as the frequency and duration of practice, can influence the effects of VALUE ELICITATION - ALIGN YOUR LIFE WITH WHAT TRULY MATTERS techniques.

Uncertainties of the Mind-Body Connection

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• Complexity of the Mind-Body Connection: The mind-body connection is complex and not fully understood, making it difficult to predict the effects of VALUE ELICITATION - ALIGN YOUR LIFE WITH WHAT TRULY MATTERS techniques on the mind and body.
• Individual Variability: Individuals may respond differently to VALUE ELICITATION - ALIGN YOUR LIFE WITH WHAT TRULY MATTERS techniques, making it difficult to predict the effects of these practices on the mind and body.
• Contextual Factors: Contextual factors, such as the environment and the practitioner’s intention, can influence the effects of VALUE ELICITATION - ALIGN YOUR LIFE WITH WHAT TRULY MATTERS techniques on the mind and body.

Limitations of Research Design

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• Correlational Studies: Many studies on VALUE ELICITATION - ALIGN YOUR LIFE WITH WHAT TRULY MATTERS are correlational, making it difficult to determine causality.
• Lack of Randomization: Some studies may not use randomization, making it difficult to control for confounding variables.
• Small Sample Sizes: Many studies on VALUE ELICITATION - ALIGN YOUR LIFE WITH WHAT TRULY MATTERS techniques have small sample sizes, making it difficult to generalize the findings to larger populations.

✏️ CONCLUSION OF VALUE ELICITATION - ALIGN YOUR LIFE WITH WHAT TRULY MATTERS

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The journey of value elicitation, as we’ve explored, is not a fleeting trend but a profound and enduring pathway to a more meaningful existence. It’s a process of self-discovery that moves us beyond the superficial and societal noise, guiding us to the bedrock of our authentic selves. By consciously uncovering and clarifying our core values, we are not simply creating a list of desirable qualities; we are illuminating the very compass that can guide our lives toward genuine fulfillment.

Aligning your life with what truly matters is not a destination to be reached, but rather an ongoing, dynamic dance. It’s about making conscious choices, day by day, that resonate with your deepest principles. It’s about building a life tapestry woven with the threads of your values, creating a pattern that is uniquely yours and vibrantly meaningful.

The benefits of this alignment are far-reaching. Clarity replaces confusion, purpose supersedes aimlessness, and authenticity blossoms in place of imposed expectations. Decision-making becomes empowered, relationships deepen, and inner resilience strengthens. You move from simply existing to truly living, propelled by intrinsic motivation and a profound sense of congruence.

Value elicitation is not always easy. It requires honesty, introspection, and a willingness to confront potentially uncomfortable truths about ourselves. There may be moments of uncertainty, conflicting values to navigate, and the ongoing work of refinement. However, the rewards of this journey are immeasurable. A life aligned with your values is a life rich in purpose, authenticity, and a deep, abiding sense of inner peace.

So, embrace the process. Explore the techniques, ask the difficult questions, and listen to the quiet whispers of your own heart. Begin today to elicit your values, and embark on the transformative journey of aligning your life with what truly matters – for it is in this alignment that true and lasting fulfillment resides.

📚 REFERENCES OF VALUE ELICITATION - ALIGN YOUR LIFE WITH WHAT TRULY MATTERS

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@book George Lakoff & Mark Johnson, 1980; Metaphors We Live By

@book Steve @ Connirae Andreas, 1988; Change Your Mind and Keep the Change: Advanced NLP Submodalities Interventions

@book Julian Jaynes, 2000; The Origin of Consciousness in the Breakdown of the Bicameral Mind

@book Brown, B. (2018). Dare to lead. Random House.

@book Covey, S. R. (1989). The seven habits of highly effective people. Free Press.

@book Dalio, R. (2017). Principles. Simon & Schuster.

@book Demartini, J. F. (2013). The values factor. Hay House, Inc.

@book Frankl, V. E. (2006). Man’s search for meaning. Beacon Press. (Original work published 1946)

@book George, B. (2007). True north. Jossey-Bass.

@book Kofman, F. (2013). Conscious business. Sounds True.

@book Sinek, S. (2009). Start with why. Portfolio/Penguin.

@book Andreas, C., & Andreas, T. (1994). Core transformation: Reaching the wellspring within. Real People Press.

@book Dilts, R., & Gilligan, S. (2009). The hero’s journey: A voyage of self discovery. Crown House Publishing.

@book McKenna, P. (2005). I can make you rich. Bantam Press.

@book Bandler, R. (1982). Reframing: Neuro-linguistic programming and the transformation of meaning. Real People Press.

@book Bandler, R. (1985). Using your brain for a change: Neuro-linguistic programming. Real People Press.

@book Bandler, R. (2008). Richard Bandler’s guide to trance-formation: Make your life great. HCI.

@book Bandler, R. (2009). Get the life you want. Health Communications, Inc.

@book Bandler, R., & Grinder, J. (1975). Patterns of hypnotic techniques of Milton H. Erickson, M.D. Volume I. Meta Publications.

@book Bandler, R., & Grinder, J. (1975). The structure of magic I: A book about language and therapy. Science and Behavior Books.

@book McKenna, P. (2025). Power manifesting: The new science of getting what you want. Headline.

@article Joseph-Williams, N., Newbronner, E., Sepucha, K., Cousijn, J., Ozanne, E., & Durand, M. -A., (2021). Clarifying values: An updated and expanded systematic review and meta-analysis. PMC. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8482297/

@article PositivePsychology.com. (2019, June 14). Acceptance & Commitment Therapy: 21 ACT Worksheets (+ PDF). Positive Psychology. https://positivepsychology.com/act-worksheets/

@article Personal Values Assessment. (n.d.). Discover Your Values. https://personalvalu.es/

@video DVD Transforming yourself Complete 3-day Training with Steve Andreas

@link The Wholeness Work

@link Core Transformation

@wiki Hypnosis in work of fiction

Image credit - Pexel - RDNE Stock project

Movies

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• Kramer, S. (Director). (1957). Paths of Glory. Bryna Productions.
• Kramer, S. (Director). (1961). Judgment at Nuremberg. Roxloms.
• Zwick, E. (Director). (1989). Glory . Freddie Fields Productions; TriStar Pictures.
• Pakula, A. J. (Director). (1993). The Pelican Brief. 1992 Baltimore Pictures; Warner Bros.
• Demme, J. (Director). (1993). Philadelphia. Clinica Estetico; TriStar Pictures.
• Redford, R. (Director). (1994). Quiz Show. Hollywood Pictures; Wildwood Enterprises; Baltimore Pictures.
• Gondry, M. (Director). (2004). Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Anonymous Content; Focus Features.
• Reitman, J. (Director). (2005). Thank You for Smoking. Room 9 Entertainment; Content International; David O. Sacks Productions; Fox Searchlight Pictures.
• Scorsese, M. (Director). (2006). The Departed. Plan B Entertainment; Initial Entertainment Group (IEG); Warner Bros.
• Cassavetes, N. (Director). (2009). My Sister’s Keeper. Curmudgeons; Granite Pictures; Mark Canton Productions; степ продакшн; Samuel Goldwyns; New Line Cinema.
• Paquet-Brenner, G. (Director). (2010). Sarah’s Key. France 2 Cinéma; StudioCanal; TF1 s Production.
• Villeneuve, D. (Director). (2013). Prisoners. Alcon Entertainment; Madhouse Entertainment.
• Cianfrance, D. (Director). (2016). The Light Between Oceans . DreamWorks Pictures; Participant Media; Reliance Entertainment.
• Gibson, M. (Director). (2016). Hacksaw Ridge. Cross Creek Pictures; Demarest Media; Argent Pictures.
• Nichols, J. (Director). (2016). Loving. Big Beach; Raindog; Sarah Green.
• McDonagh, M. (Director). (2017). Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri. Blueprint Pictures; 4 Productions; Fox Searchlight Pictures.

Books

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• Brown, B. (2018). Dare to lead: Brave work. Tough conversations. Whole hearts. Random House.

• Chambers, B. (2021). A Psalm for the Wild-Built. Tor Books.

• Frankl, V. E. (1946). Man’s search for meaning. Beacon Press.