Skip to main content


Image credit - [Karolina Grabowska](
Image credit - Karolina Grabowska
  1. POSTS/


πŸ—‚οΈ Knowing πŸ“ Communication 🏷️ Tools Metaphors NLP
πŸ•™ 20 mins
Table of Contents
Knowing - This article is part of a series.
Part : This Article

“Each loss is a way of alerting yourself to what you want more of.” - Connirae Andreas


Overcoming grief and loss is a challenging but necessary journey. Grief is a natural response to loss, and it is important to allow yourself to feel your emotions fully. There is no right or wrong way to grieve, and everyone experiences it differently.

There are many things you can do to help yourself heal from grief, such as talking to someone about how you’re feeling, joining a grief support group, taking care of yourself, and being patient with yourself. Healing takes time, and there is no timeline for completing the process.

Grief is a part of life, and it is how we learn to love and lose. It is important to remember that you are not alone and that millions of people grieve every year. Grief is a teacher, a transformer, a gift, a mystery, a love story, a blessing, and a journey.

We lose touch with our friends, and family when we get separated and still maintain resources of our time together.


“Grief is a journey. It’s a journey of self-discovery, healing, and growth.” - Unknown

Grief is a natural and healthy response to loss. It is a way for us to process our pain and begin to heal. While grief can be a difficult and painful experience, there are many benefits to overcoming it.

1. Improved mental and physical health

Grief can harm our mental and physical health. It can lead to depression, anxiety, stress, and a variety of other health problems. Overcoming grief can help to improve our mental and physical health by reducing stress, improving sleep quality, and boosting our immune system.

2. Increased resilience

Resilience is the ability to bounce back from adversity. Overcoming grief can help us to become more resilient. When we experience a loss, we learn how to cope with difficult emotions and challenges. This knowledge and experience can help us to face future challenges with greater strength and courage.

3. Deeper relationships

Grief can bring us closer to the people we love. When we share our grief with others, it can strengthen our relationships and create a deeper bond of trust and understanding.

4. Increased appreciation for life

Grief can help us to appreciate the preciousness of life. When we experience a loss, we are reminded of how fragile and fleeting life is. This can lead us to live more fully and appreciate the moments we have with the people we love.

5. Post-traumatic growth

While grief is a difficult experience, it can also lead to post-traumatic growth. Post-traumatic growth is the process of emerging from a traumatic experience stronger and more resilient. Overcoming grief can help us to develop new insights, perspectives, and strengths.


The origins of overcoming grief and loss can be traced back to the earliest human civilizations. In ancient Egypt, for example, there were elaborate rituals and ceremonies surrounding death and mourning. These rituals were designed to help the living process their grief and to help the deceased transition to the afterlife.

In ancient Greece, philosophers such as Aristotle and Plato wrote about the importance of grief in the healing process. They believed that grief was a natural and necessary response to loss and that it was important to allow oneself to grieve fully.

In the Middle Ages, the Christian church played a central role in grief counseling. Priests and nuns provided comfort and support to the grieving, and they helped them to make sense of their loss in light of their religious beliefs.

In the 19th century, the rise of psychology led to a new understanding of grief and loss. Sigmund Freud, the father of psychoanalysis, proposed that grief was a process of mourning, during which the individual gradually detaches from the deceased person. Other early psychologists, such as John Bowlby and Elisabeth KΓΌbler-Ross, developed theories about the different stages of grief.

In the 20th century, several new grief counseling therapies were developed. These therapies, such as cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) and acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), focus on helping people healthily cope with their grief.


Grief is a natural and healthy response to loss. It is a way for us to process our pain and begin to heal. While grief can be a difficult and painful experience, many principles can help us to overcome it.

1. Allow yourself to feel your emotions. Don’t try to bottle them up. It’s important to acknowledge your feelings, even if they are painful. Grief can manifest in a variety of ways, such as sadness, anger, guilt, and loneliness. It is important to allow yourself to experience all of your emotions to heal.

2. Talk to someone about how you’re feeling. This could be a friend, family member, therapist, or grief counselor. Talking about your grief can help you to make sense of your loss and to feel less alone.

3. Join a grief support group. This can be a great way to connect with other people who are going through similar experiences. Grief support groups can provide support, companionship, and understanding.

4. Take care of yourself. Eat healthy, get enough sleep, and exercise regularly. It is also important to avoid unhealthy coping mechanisms, such as alcohol and drugs. Taking care of yourself will help you to have the strength and resilience to cope with your grief.

5. Be patient with yourself. Healing takes time. There is no set timeline for overcoming grief. It is important to be patient with yourself and to allow yourself the time you need to heal.

Here are some additional tips that may help you to overcome grief and loss:

  • Find healthy ways to express your grief. This could include writing, journaling, creating art, learning new skills, meeting new people, or spending time in nature. Finding healthy ways to express your grief can help you to process your emotions and begin to heal.

  • Find meaning and purpose in your life. After a loss, it can be difficult to find meaning and purpose in life. However, it is important to remember that your life still has value and meaning. Find things that give you joy and that make you feel alive.

  • Help others. Helping others is a great way to find meaning and purpose in your life. It can also help you to feel less alone and to connect with others.

  • As long as something better comes along you don’t grieve about the loss. Look for new opportunities, activities, places, and people.

Overcoming grief and loss is a journey. It is a journey that takes time and effort, but it is worth it. Many principles can help you to heal from loss. Allow yourself to feel your emotions, talk to someone about how you’re feeling, join a grief support group, take care of yourself, and be patient with yourself. With time and support, you can overcome grief and loss and live a fulfilling life again.


  • Sitting by side so you can perceive nuances in facial expression, gestures, and coloration of the skin and not stay in the way of a client who is accessing their images and creating metaphors in front of them.

  • Modulate your voice and speak slowly and melodically.

  • Be interested in client exploration.

  • Repeat the client’s words using his voice delivery. For instance, when the client spoke about an exciting event, his face lightened up, his words speeded up and his tone of voice was higher. As a professional, you are, to match his expression or attend acting class to learn essentials.

  • Connect the question and experience with coordinating conjunction and/as/when.


“Grief is a teacher. It teaches us about love, loss, and resilience.” - Unknown

Vlad: “Hello, What can I do for you today?”

Client: “I am grieving over the loss of my partner over an extended period and I would like to go on.”

Vlad: “Have you experienced grief before? Can you choose the most significant event?”

Client: “I lost my grans years ago and my father passed away 5 years ago.”

Vlad: “When you think about your partner now and you realize you are missing something what do you see? And while you are seeing your partner think about what you value about him.”

Client: “I saw my partner in the past while he was alive. In the present, I see his transparent image static overlay. And in the future, it’s the same as in the present.”

Vlad: “In a moment you will feel relieved and get most of your memories. Meanwhile, think about a person who is not at your reach and when you think about them you experience gratitude and resources which they shared with you.”

Client: “I got Anna, my musical teacher from College.”

Vlad: “And how do you represent her? What do you see? Pay attention to submodalities. Point out with your hands the location of the representation of Anna. Notice the size, distance, connection, etc.”

Client: “She is in front of me, life-size, life color, floating at arm’s distance. I can call her, she is just 7000 miles away. She is moving and I see her in the past. I see her on the ground, grounded.”

Vlad: “Now compare those two representations together and notice any other differences.”

Client: “My partner seems bigger than life size, the skin color is washed out, I can see him in the future static, it seems closer, it doesn’t have context while I see Anna moving through different context. My partner it’s just in front of me, while Anna is in the past, on the left.”

Vlad: “Check the sound.”

Client: “I can hear Anna in the situation, My partner’s voice somehow comes from below.”

Vlad: “To recap you perceive your partner as bigger than life, static, without context, floating, transparent overlay, with skin color washed out, close and he is in the future, you hear the voice as coming from below. Anna your resourceful music teacher is life-size, moving, grounded in context, in the past, voice coming from her mouth. Now we will transform this experience into a similar resource as your music teacher. Do you have any objection to perceiving your partner in a resourceful way?”

Client: “No. I am congruent. Let’s go with it.”

Vlad: “Allow representation of your partner to move to the past, as it’s there as the reality goes, and gently allow it to ground itself, adjust the distance and size, place him in the situation where he shared his resources, and observe the voice going through his mouth at your rate and speed.”

Client: “I have noticed the change.”

Vlad: “Good. As you are noticing the change, compare now representation of Anna with your partner. It’s there any difference?”

Client: “I feel lost when I am thinking about my partner.”

Vlad: “When you are thinking about Anna you have got a sense of presence, right? Even though she is no longer with you.”

Client: “I experienced missing her and I have released that the feeling towards my partner changed as well to missing more than loss.”

Vlad: “Continuing I’ll ask you to create a representation of the value that was/is significant and will serve you as a resource from your partner. There may be more than one. Allow it to emerge as a sense, symbol, or representation. And as you are receiving these values which you want to keep, allow those values integrate as it’s most appropriate for you as a person in the present and the future.”

Client: “I see myself evolving with values in the future.”

Vlad: “Let’s spread becoming who you are with learnings and significant values from your partner through your future. Allow yourself to sense the ongoing fulfilling of your growth in all of your body now, in the future.”

Client: “That’s incredible. Weight has come down. Thanks very much.”


  1. Elicit structure of experience using submodalities

  2. Elicit differences between loss and resourcefullnes

  3. Make crossover and integrate resourcefullnes

  4. Elicit value from the loss and integrate it into the future

  5. Use the Wholeness process, Core transformation, and Trance to get the kinesthetic sensation

  6. Observe change


Find a comfortable place to sit or lie down. Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths.

Bring to mind your grief. Allow yourself to feel the emotions that come up, without judgment.

Imagine that your grief is a heavy weight that you are carrying on your shoulders. See yourself slowly releasing this weight, letting it fall to the ground.

Now imagine that your grief is transformed into light. See this light filling your body and mind, illuminating your heart.

Feel the warmth and radiance of this light. Know that this light is a source of strength, resilience, and hope.

With each breath, allow the light to grow brighter and stronger.

See yourself using this light to heal yourself and others. See yourself using this light to make the world a better place.

As you continue to breathe, feel the light radiating from your heart. Feel the love and compassion that this light represents.

Know that you are not alone in your grief. Know that your grief can be transformed into something even more beautiful and powerful: a source of light and love.

When you are ready, open your eyes and return to your day.


  • I am grieving, and that is okay.

  • I am finding meaning and purpose in my grief.

  • I am using my grief to make the world a better place.

  • I am filled with light and love.

  • I am strong, resilient, and hopeful.

You can repeat these affirmations to yourself during your meditation, or at any time during the day when you are feeling grief.


▢️ Youtube - Treating Loss and Depression with NLP - Steve Andreas Client Session


Q: What does it mean for grief to transform into value?

A: When grief transforms into value, it means that we find meaning and purpose in our grief. We come to see our grief as an opportunity for growth and transformation. We may also find that our grief helps us to connect with others more deeply and to appreciate the preciousness of life.

Q: How can I transform my grief into value?

A: Find meaning and purpose in your grief. This could involve volunteering your time to a cause that you care about, writing about your experiences, or creating art.

Q: What are some examples of grief transforming to value?

A: Here are some examples of how grief can transform into value:

  • A person who loses a loved one may start a foundation to raise money for research on the disease that took their loved one’s life.

  • A person who loses a child may start a blog to share their grief and to offer support to other parents who have lost children.

  • A person who goes through a divorce may start a coaching business to help other people who are going through divorce.

Q: Is it possible to transform all grief into value?

A: Even amid the most difficult grief, it is possible to find moments of meaning and purpose.

Q: How do I know if my grief is transforming into value?

A: Here are some signs that your grief may be transforming into value:

  • You can talk about your grief without feeling overwhelmed.

  • You can find meaning and purpose in your grief.

  • You can connect with others who are also grieving in a supportive way.

  • You feel more resilient and hopeful about the future.

If you are experiencing any of these signs, it is a good indication that your grief is transforming into value.


  • After Sam passed away, he left $50,000 for a lavish funeral in his will. Rose, Sam’s wife, turned to Sadie, her oldest friend, as the final attendees departed, saying, “Well, I’m sure Sam would be pleased.”

Sadie moved in close and whispered, “I’m sure you’re right,” then asked, “Tell me, how much did it really cost?” Rose answered, “All of it”. “50,000.”

“No!” “I mean, it was very nice, but reallyβ€”$50,000?” Sadie cried out.

Pinky nodded. “The burial cost $6500. I gave the church $500 so that the priest could do services. Drinks and meals will cost an additional $500. The others moved in the direction of the memorial stone.” With haste, Sadie calculated: “$42,500 for a memorial stone? How large is it exactly?” Seven carats.

  • I waited for some time to pass in a corner after we arrived. Next, a man came up to me and said, “You should enjoy life, boy, and be joyful because time flies.” Look at me now, I wasn’t having fun." Then he moved away, passing his hand over my head.

My father made me say goodbye to the deceased before he left. I was shocked to see that the man who had been speaking to me in the corner was also inside the casket when I opened it!

After that, I had trouble falling asleep for several years. I had a psychological illness and frequent nightmares, so I was afraid of being by myself. I went to a lot of psychologists. Throughout my teenage years, I had a lot of turbulence, including not turning off the light at night.

Years later, I made an amazing discovery that completely transformed my life.

There was a twin brother to that deceased fool.

  • A day nearer… You begin to die the moment you are born. Thus, you might as well enjoy yourselves.

  • Just commerce Since you are trading one day of your life for what you do today, it matters what you do.

  • Put your worries to rest. Those who live in cemeteries are the only ones who don’t have issues.

  • Is that not the case? Don’t overthink things in life. Still, nobody makes it out alive.

  • Words you can say during sex and a loss:

    • It’s incredibly difficult.

    • I am very heartbroken.

    • My heart is breaking because it happened so suddenly.

    • That’s very damaging.

    • It’s natural to cry.

    • I’m glad you came.

    • I didn’t expect it to end so quickly.

    • It was wonderful, but now we have to say goodbye.

    • It saddens me deeply that you had to go under these conditions.

    • Children shouldn’t be here.

    • I don’t know how to clarify this situation.

    • It was very premature.

    • Do you need tissues?


  • From a scorched forest to a flourishing meadow: Grief can leave us feeling scorched and barren, but with time and nurturing, we can regrow and flourish like a meadow.

  • From a shattered mirror to a mosaic masterpiece: Grief can shatter our sense of self, but with courage and creativity, we can piece ourselves back together into something even more beautiful and unique.

  • From a lost compass to a guiding star: Grief can make us feel lost and directionless, but with time and reflection, we can find our inner guiding star.

  • From a broken wing to a soaring eagle: Grief can break our hearts and spirits, but with resilience and grace, we can rise above our pain and soar like eagles.

  • From a weathered ship to a resilient lighthouse: Grief can batter us like waves against a ship, but with steadfastness and strength, we can become resilient lighthouses that guide others through the storm.

  • From a fading candle to a burning flame: Grief can dim our light, but with self-compassion and love, we can reignite our flames and burn brighter than ever.

  • From a silent symphony to a harmonious orchestra: Grief can silence our voices, but with courage and connection, we can join together in an orchestra of healing and hope.

  • From a barren canvas to a vibrant painting: Grief can leave us feeling empty and uninspired, but with creativity and expression, we can paint our vibrant masterpieces.

  • From a heavy burden to a gentle whisper: Grief can weigh us down, but with time and acceptance, we can learn to carry it with lightness and grace.

  • From a tangled web to a woven tapestry: Grief can entangle us in its threads, but with patience and perseverance, we can weave those threads into a tapestry of resilience and strength.

  • From a dark tunnel to a radiant dawn: Grief can lead us through dark tunnels, but with courage and faith, we can emerge into the radiant dawn of a new beginning.

  • From a raging storm to a tranquil sea: Grief can unleash raging storms within us, but with time and healing, we can find peace and tranquility within our hearts.

  • From a barren wasteland to a lush oasis: Grief can turn our lives into barren wastelands, but with self-love and compassion, we can create lush oases of nourishment and growth.

  • From a broken record to a new song: Grief can keep us stuck in the same patterns, but with courage and vulnerability, we can write new songs of healing and transformation.

  • From a heavy chain to a pair of wings: Grief can shackle us to the past, but with self-forgiveness and acceptance, we can break free and fly on wings of hope.

  • From a shattered vase to a priceless heirloom: Grief can shatter us into pieces, but with time and love, we can be mended into heirlooms of resilience and wisdom.

  • From a wilted flower to a blooming rose: Grief can make us feel wilted and defeated, but with sunlight and water, we can bloom like roses in the spring.

  • From a lost sheep to a shepherd: Grief can make us feel lost and alone, but with compassion and connection, we can become shepherds for others who are also grieving.

  • From a broken compass to a map of the heart: Grief can make us lose our way, but with time and self-reflection, we can create maps of our hearts that guide us on our journey.

  • From a night of the soul to a radiant dawn of awakening: Grief can lead us through the depths of darkness, but with courage and resilience, we can emerge into the radiant dawn of a new awakening.

  • From a raging river to a calm lake: Grief can be like a raging river that threatens to carry us away, but with time and grounding, we can find stillness and peace like a calm lake.

  • From a heavy backpack to a light feather: Grief can weigh us down, but with self-love and compassion, we can release the weight and carry our grief as lightly as a feather.


@book Connirae Andreas, Steve Andreas, 1989; Heart of the Mind: Engaging Your Inner Power to Change with Neuro-Linguistic Programming. ISBN 978-0911226317

@video Resolving Grief - Connirae Andreas

@article Resolving grief

@article Resolving Grief - Connirae Andreas


“Grief is a transformer. It transforms us into stronger, more compassionate people.” - Unknown

  • I have read books, watched videos, attended seminars, and practiced on myself and others. I did experience grief over relationships, and places, lost od 3 TB of important data gathered over 10 years, and moved on. I lost my dad in this millennium. I worked in a funeral house and came daily in contact with grief and loss. I have learned that the journey is the most important and leraned to value all events. The process I have learned from Connirae Andreas facilitates transformation and resources and is used over things, relationships, and opportunities. I was amazed when I employed the process during the relationship with my partner preparing to distance and found out that it diminished dependency while enhancing our connection. Since then I have done the pre-grief process with any jobs, activities, or relationships.


Grief can be a powerful transformative experience. It can help us to appreciate the preciousness of life and the importance of our relationships. It can also teach us resilience and compassion.

When we overcome grief and loss, we become stronger and more resilient individuals. We also gain a deeper understanding of ourselves and the world around us. This newfound wisdom and strength can be a valuable resource for ourselves and others.

If you are grieving, remember that you are not alone. There are many resources available to help you cope and heal. With time and support, you can overcome your grief and find new value in your life.

Copyright: Β© CC BY-SA 4.0
Citation  Attribution:

πŸ—‚οΈ Knowing πŸ“ Communication 🏷️ Tools Metaphors NLP

Klimsa Vladimir
Klimsa Vladimir
He is an explorer of the structure of subjective experience, seeking a deeper understanding of how people experience the world through their conscious and subconscious minds. He studies the inner worlds of thoughts, feelings, and sensations that shape our perceptions, behaviors, and choices.
Knowing - This article is part of a series.
Part : This Article

Tags #about (1) #author (1) #belief (2) #bio (1) #books (6) #certainty (1) #communication (1) #connection (6) #contact (2) #conviction (1) #disclaimer (1) #featured (5) #hugo (1) #intensify (1) #learning (4) #life-purpose (1) #metaphors (54) #nlp (38) #organisation (1) #pages (2) #perception (1) #practice (4) #privacy (2) #quality (6) #quizzes (3) #sensation (12) #spiritual (1) #ssg (1) #talk (7) #time (3) #tools (48) #voice (6) #zettelkasten (1)

Categories bio (1) books (5) communication (28) contact (2) course (6) events (7) knowledge (2) learning (28) nlp (1) resources (3) sensation (4) site (3) tools (25)

πŸ€™πŸ» Connect or no by giving your opinion, making requests, suggestions...


πŸ•™ 24 mins
πŸ•™ 18 mins
πŸ•™ 20 mins